Uncle Norm's FUN page for Children

Exits to the other parts of my life

Art
Magic
Poetry

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Exit
this site.

The World round
Me
Where I live

Entrance
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Back into
my mind,,
behind you.

The hard, dead world
of Science &
Engineering

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I have never grown up. In my mind I am really about five years old, pretending to be about seventeen. If you explore my site, you will find it is full of fantasy. But I live very much in the real world, too.

What's on this page:

My favourite TV Shows.
Excuses for not doing homework
How to destroy your "enemy's" party.
My Trusted Friend
A Warning for Kids
Links to the rest of this site.

My Teddy has ever been my trusty friend through many dream adventures.

A Warning for Kids

Life is a journey through time.
Every Day only happens once, so make the most of it.
No matter where we are on our personal time-line, we used to be younger and one day we will all be older.
Each one of us has in us a child-like part and a adult-like part (and also a Parent part). When we are very little we are children all the time, and some people never grow up, while other people start behaving like parents young never cease behaving like parents. (eg. Angelica, from RugRats.)Most people should and do approach the world with their adult part most of the time.

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Are you a Chopped Poppy?
Australia is an overtly egalitarian country, where bright children are chopped down like tall poppies.

My links are not intended for people of low intelligence, whether adults or children. None will take you to anything dangerous, but links lead to links, so be warned not to go too far.

My Favourite Show on TV used to be The Ren and Stimpy Show

Here are the links from the Ren & Stimpy Mainpage

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Other Favourites

Phineas and Ferb
Rocko's Modern Life
Terrance and Philip
Pokemon on TV, but not the cards or pokemon go.
Harry Potter
Years ago:
- Gadget
- Muffin the Mule
Beavis and Butthead
South Park.
Tele Tubbies.
What better way to start the day than down a slide for Tubby Custard,
Oh! Oh!

Excuses for not doing homework

Oh yes! I was an expert. But not till now, not till the InterNet, has there been a place that is public enough and also private enough to reveal my secrets.

I never did my homework.

Here are some suggestions:

The best way is to con the teacher into thinking you like him or her. This is really easy if you are intelligent , and lets face it, if you were not intelligent, you would not be reading this.

If you are ahead in your work you can claim to have done the homework for some future, more advanced, part of the course, and suggest that the teacher ought to know that so surely you weren't expected to do this easy bit of the work. Plenty of time to do the other work, and by then a new excuse can be devised, or re-use the same one.

The best excuse for not doing the homework is that you were not at school when the homework was set. It is important for all intelligent students to miss as much school as possible: the only real education is self-education.

Note that teachers get totally pissed off when you do well in their little tests if you never do their homework and hardly go to their classes, so it is important to give answers to their tests that are too advanced for them, so they think your paper is just ordinary and only pass you.

Do not think that one day you will be old enough to get away with it, because it only happens while you are a kid, because they try to keep doing it to you, that is, like making you do your homework and obeying a lot of crappy rules and shit. so get used to life now, a world ruled by total bastards who are totally dumb, but big. The best is to play it cool and just not be seen.

And finally, for everyone reading this, never promise to catch up homework not already done, because there is nothing more futile than a future made up of fabricated imitations of un-realised possible existences that did not happen on time.

How to destroy your "enemy's" party:

Put a can of coke in the freezer, wait till it explodes.
Glad wrap over the toilet bowel - under the seat.
Never call the Police or Fire brigade, they will know who called
and it wastes community resources.
Have the address announced on Community Radio - thousands of extra guests are sure to make the party a "success".

How to Enjoy Your Own Party. :

I never had a 21st, because I was sick, but when I was about thirty years old, I was living in Adelaide with heaps of people who all seemed to be about ten years younger than me, and having twenty-firsts. Because I had never had one, I had a thirty-first. I told everyone I knew, but did not expect many people there. It was packed. Everyone came and brought all the people I had met at their houses, so my house was full of entire "scenes" filling each room as well as the gardens and the sheds. I walked round and round, with the house floor-plan like a big pretzel, becoming more overwhelmed by the increasing numbers of people. I was given some advice early in the evening by an experienced party giver, that it was my party, and my first obligation was to enjoy myself. Enjoyment is contagious. If the birthday-boy is enjoying himself, so will everyone else. So I had the best night of my life till then just going from group to group and never staying anywhere long, but taking my drink with me (or else you get too drunk, which is a problem. Many people have missed their own parties by drinking too much and flaking.) Having people video the party has double sided benefits/problems. Introducing people to other people is always good. It is good to mix people up. Strangers will have only one topic of conversation and that will be you, and of course they will only tell the best things (and being you there will only be good things) but be warned about match-making, which can lose two friends due to inevitable failure. The important thing to remember is that you should not rush to mature and grow old/up.

My Sonnet About Growing Old

Never Grow Up

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